1) "Was this baby planned?"
2) "Was this an accident?"
Regarding the first question:
First of all, yes. All babies are planned. By God. His timing is more perfect than anything we could imagine. And, as in all areas of life, although His timing might not always seem convenient, I think He knows what He's doing way more than I do.
Second of all, to me, this is a HIGHLY personal question that I really don't think people should ask unless they know the mom and dad well. If an expecting couple feels like volunteering that information to you, then that's great. But family planning is a very complicated situation that includes a LOT of factors, many of which are preferred to be kept known only to the mom and dad. It's an emotional process, something that many people forget. Every time you ask parents: "So, how come you haven't given Freddie a little brother or sister yet?" you could be, without realizing it, piercing a knife into their hearts. How do you know they haven't been trying to have a baby, but can't get pregnant again? How do you know if perhaps they have had more pregnancies, but have suffered the terrible and lonely loss of miscarriage?
Regarding the second question:
Was this an accident? How I loathe this question. The term "accident" should never even be in the same sentence when discussing pregnancy.
|Not an accident|
Guess what folks? If a man and a woman have sex, they can get pregnant. If they do get pregnant, it means that something went right. Their bodies are working the way they were meant to work. I won't start discussing contraception here, since that's for another blog post. But the fact that calling a baby an "accident" is now commonplace shows how much our culture values human life. And doesn't it just seem strange that "sex" and "babies" are now automatically separated? Maybe we all need to retake Health class.
Everyone needs to realize that these very deep, heavy questions aren't really the subject of small talk. The best way you can react to news of a pregnancy is by showing excitement and support. It's almost guaranteed that the parents are, to some extent, freaked out (depending on the situation, some more than others). I can't tell you how calming it is when people react with joy to our news. It's much nicer than "Wow. You are gonna have your hands full!" or "Jeeze, good luck...you're gonna need it!" I do understand this, and TRUST ME, these thoughts have run through my head far more than they have yours.
So do you want to know if my current pregnancy was planned? I'll answer that like I do to most other people: yes. It was perfectly planned by the One who created our precious baby, and I wouldn't have it any other way.