How Becoming a Mother Changed My Outlook on Christ's Crucifixion

Every year on Good Friday I force myself to watch "The Passion of the Christ". I actually hate doing it. I want to look away at most of the parts. But I make myself watch. I figure if Christ can go through all the suffering and die for me, it's the least I can do. It really does help me realize what He went through. When we recite the Creed, we say, "He suffered, died, and was buried." Bam. That's it. It's very easy to just say those words and not even think about them. But after I watch this movie, I realize how much suffering He went through.

In the past, B.C. (before children), the parts I grimaced at the most were always the ones with gore. Especially the scouring at the pillar. Sooo much blood, tears, and awfulness. It seems like it never ends. How could anyone possibly do that to someone? And just stand there and watch (Although, saying that, we all do that. We stand by and watch all sorts of terrible things happen in our society without saying a word)?

After I had Elizabeth, however, I noticed that the movie affected me much differently than before. The parts that made me grimace more than anything were now the ones that involved Mary. Her expressions as she had to watch her son. As she stood there, not able to do anything. To me, that is one of the worst things anyone can go through. To watch as their child suffers, unable to do a thing to change it.

I think of all the times Elizabeth has been sick or hurt. And how much it kills me inside. And they have never been anything life threatening or horribly serious. When this happens, I think of Mary. And what she endured as she watched her son suffer.

Today is a day of fasting, prayer, and somberness. We remember Christ's ultimate sacrifice. We remember what his Mother and his Apostles had to go through as they watched. We remember what this means for us.


Jesus, remember me, when you come into your Kingdom.